The Art of Being Together in the Virtual World: Meetings, Classes and Meet-ups

It was a week, wasn’t it? At five o’clock yesterday I closed my laptop with a sigh of relief. And then immediately opened it to offer a fifteen-minute Facebook Live Chair Yoga class. We have a new office, and its tether takes some tweaking. 

In this time of remote work and self-isolation, the work, for the fortunate, continues. An overlay of what work was to what work is…isn’t possible. This is a creation time for all of us: creating the culture at home we want as we work and go to school together, creating healthy meals that are manageable to prepare, creating how we are going to spend all of this time. 

Week before last, I was frantic. I found myself reporting my time and the work I accomplished daily for the first time in my career(s). Filling up forty hours in my home office is something. Since 1998, my office has been a mobile one: Arts District meetings, donor meetings, community partner meetings and events: lots of evening and weekend events. 

Building the Crow Museum meant meeting the Asian-American communities in their community: for a "common unity". The "assignment" from my first chapters at the crow was 100% external affairs: I was on the road. The blur of my life and my work was forged over two decades ago: neither could be separated, until now. There is nowhere to go. The sensation of “quitting time” at 5 pm on a Friday is bewildering and new to me: I was giddy with excitement. 

I was also sore: my neck throbbing from the new angle of the laptop, shoulders strained from holding up my 10-13 (13) pound head in a different position. This new office is a tether that needs tweaking. Here are a few tips from what I saw this week: 

1.     Set a schedule and plan to spend less than half of it on-line. I cut my on-line time in half from week one to week two and it made a difference. If you need any motivation, read “Death by Meeting” by Patrick Lencioni. 

2.     If you meet someone on-line, really meet them. Use video: there are over 400 facial cues that humans express: and you don’t want to miss it. Make the speaker the largest picture on your screen. Be interested and connect. Use the camera to create your own eye-contact. Stay with your colleague/ team for the whole meeting and make the time count. 

3.     Always check-in: whether leading or attending the meeting, take a few minutes (or ask to) arrive together. We are all arriving to these meetings from different places (including the dishwasher): help gather the energy, the attention and the focus in a warm way as if you are sitting down to tea (not a bad idea). When someone asks you how you are, really tell them. And when they tell you, really listen. 

4.     As the leader of a team of 20, I assigned a Buddy System. Each of us has a Buddy we check in with daily on text/ call and in the virtual room. “Saying hello” to your buddy is one of the ways we started the meetings this week. It is also a quick way to know who is missing and may need a check-in. 

5.     I also warmed our team up to talking: “pass” is always an option (if we are going roundtable on a topic or writing share) and I’ve been offering mood-checks (“on a scale of 1-10 how are you today?”) in the chat box. I asked everyone to place their numbers in the chat box: a way of showing up, being seen and heard and a way for me to assess where everyone is emotionally. I found the chat box is a way to engage without being confrontational. As leaders I think it’s important to acknowledge that work may continue, but it continues inside of a global crisis. 

6.     Hold time as precious: the format of video conference takes extra time: think time, response time, finding the right button to unmute time. Be generous. The questions will come. Use the chat box for questions, too. Keep meetings to about 45 minutes (Death by Meeting says 40) and if they go longer -give everyone ten minutes every hour for a bio break. Honor the time set for the meetings and stick to the agenda. In a world without shape, let the shapes show up in your leadership. 

7.     Close with grace. Ask everyone to come off of mute. Thank them for their participation and try to connect with those you may not have heard from. Make the extra effort here to make the rounds (this is true during the calls, too). Your presence is their present and for those who live alone, this may be a very important portal to the human world. On one call I was on this week, the leader left the last 15 minutes for connection time, just as we would if we were at the coffee maker. 

I am meeting with our full museum team every morning, and it is making a difference toward my joy and I believe it’s making a difference toward theirs too. We are more connected than we have been in fourteen months: this distance brought our team formerly working in three locations (museum/ warehouse/ University) closer than we’ve been. 

We are entering this new word with one word (and I referenced it daily): Gentle. Our human bodies are going through something we’ve never known and the only way to do this is with slow, gentle awareness. As if in yoga pose, what is too uncomfortable: adjust slowly. Listen and look: for the gentle adjustments you and your fellow humans need. As leaders, employees, mamas and dads, sons and daughters, be gentle with yourself. And breathe. 

Post script: 

For the past six years, I have worked with Dorrier Underwood on how to lead in my work and in my being. I source their expertise here both in designing meeting and fulfilling goals. Additionally, my training in yoga and mindfulness have helped prepare me for this moment…and the moments to come.