I Need You, Friend

Ask for what you need. Knowing that I need to know what I need is part of the clarity I'm experiencing in this Year of Courage.

This morning I needed to see the news: too many CNN alerts in too many days. A beloved city, state and country in peril. Fear creeping into the cracks of our most mindless moments: the salesperson selling unusual items to a young man, the Fed Ex driver, the security guards, the moment of seeing an unexpected package on a porch...and opening it, mindlessly. These are our most human moments: the innocent things we do every day. And we are at our most vulnerable.

Being awake is not just seeing the need but knowing the need.

What I notice about myself reading the news that the Austin Bomber is dead? I find myself thinking of the mothers. Where, this cold, dark morning is the mother who mourns this loss more greatly than any other human on earth. Does she even know yet? And the other mothers, of the victims. They know. They are already inside of their mourning. Is God speaking to them and telling them they are loved and everything will be alright?

What is missing that creates such hate: a will to kill and be the boy all fear, and no one understands? What awareness would make the difference? We hear a lot of stories about the moment of positive impact in one's life: meeting a mentor, being inspired, seeing an opportunity and taking it: humans create that moment.  If humans can inspire futures in a moment they can also destroy futures in a moment: little moments that change a life.

How do we change how we respond to bullying, to bad news, to hate?

It take a different moment: being aware in present moment. It takes courage. Real courage: not fake courage or half-courage: real full-hearted fearlessness. Ceiling-breaking courage.

I am going to ask for what I need.

Consider:

If there was one thing _____________ needs from___________ what would it be?

Needing is saying.

Saying is declaring.

Declaring is courage.

We are afraid to need: afraid to say "that package, that boy, that situation looks suspicious". Afraid to pick up the young, white homeless girl on the corner. "Where would I take her?" I queried just day before yesterday. "Am I safe?"

Fearlessness takes us out self-concern and puts us in a new space of seeing that we're all just humans on  a journey needing each other.

"It is beyond comprehension how infinitely small the effort is that a man makes in really asking for what he wants. The Bible very simply states, "Ask and you shall receive." Like all simple things, it is extraordinarily difficult for people to understand the basic principle because of their tensions and complexities. You can be in the arms of somebody you love for three hours and they can suddenly turn to you and say, "Do you love me?" If somebody in that type of situation needs reassurance, can you imagine how much others need it in everyday living? There are people who have lived together for fifty years and are never sure that they are wanted. It is because of their inability to ask." —Rudi.