Forty-five

I wish for the joy of nine five year-olds,
Half the wisdom of someone ninety.

The energy of being twice 22

And then one.

I am grateful for the numbers.

The quiet morning.

A return to yoga.

Earl Grey tea

And a french pastry from VIllage Bakery.

I appreciate my muscles: 45 years of moving me

Through this amazing life.

Bones and armature.

Balance. Feet that carried me.

To today. Downward Dog. Still got it.

The love of friends

Saying hello across the globe.

Even Bogata.

The happiness of a network

That holds me together and moves me

To be

More.

The wisdom to be quiet.

To breathe three times deeply.

To know where Center is

And to know when I am not there.

The grace and permission to return.

To so many things I still don’t know.

Like how my nervous system really works.

And the mystery

Of a heart

That has real electricity inside.

The love of parents

And a brother, a sister, my first birthday

With Olivia: her first birthday with me.

Almost one year with Olivia.

Gift: Aunt.

A farm to return to today.

My first home. In February of 1972.

They put me on a blanket in the sun.

And watched me grow.

A family. Cards and laughter.

Willful suspense

And proud surprises.

I am forty-five.

They can’t even begin to know

How beautiful it is.

I am this many, but also zero.

Just beginning to see

What a magical place this is

When you stop

And take a look

At the time.