Recently my husband and I hosted 8 sixth graders for the Middle School Church Retreat. We also enjoyed meeting 3 college-age gentlemen who stayed with the boys in our home for the weekend as the “Retreat Leaders”. I was responsible for receiving meals from generous volunteers and making breakfast. I was excited about the weekend: drawing on my camp experience as cabin counselor, art teacher and girls camp director. I declared that our bungalow 2 bedroom home was being transformed into a Really Big Tent for the weekend. I was all in.
One of the boys left a “Time Away Form” on our front entry. The title caught my eye. A Time Away Form? I thought. Don’t we all need this. My wandering thought was wrangled by the footnote of responsibility. Ah, yes, I am the one needing to be aware of this young man’s exit for a basketball tournament –and ultimately his return. I am the one. Time away. Got it.
But what if? What if we had our own version of a Time Away Form? What would it be Time Away from?
I find that if I self-schedule a weekend home without events (like the long week between Christmas and New Year’s) I am pulled like a magnet to the closets, the deep clean of the fridge and even the attic. I see others –too—pulled away from Time Away time as we line up at the Goodwill Truck depositing the things we thought we needed.
Time Away competes with so many things: technology, the feed of friends, the myth of busy, the dubious luxury of “social” media. Time Away competes with habits of comparison, competition and easy shopping. In the time before I get out of bed in the morning I can easily “lose” the quiet hour to any number of social media platforms. It’s that easy.
Filling out and committing to a Time Away form is harder, but the reward is beyond bliss: the bliss of solitude brings greater well being, a sense of peace and balance I’ll never find in work email or Facebook.
This is the practice: make your own Time Away Form:
Name:
Purpose of Time Away: Set your intention
Date of Time Away:
Length of Time:
Activity:
__Mindful Practice __ Reading __ Writing __ Napping __ Walking __ _________________
Reflections on the experience:
You can also come up with your own guidelines for your Time Away Time. Decide how you will interact/ not interact with technology, your children, your friends. Set up a space for time away: make it yours, light a candle during your Time Away Time. This gift to yourself, as a gift of solitude and contemplation, makes it sacred. Honor your time with a beginning and an ending: a short period (1-3 minutes) of silence marked by a bell. Take these entry and ending moments to focus on the breath and be with the intention you’ve set.
Above all, be kind to yourself: your Time Away may last just 5 minutes. And the benefits of those 300 seconds will be the spacious well you can go back to later in the day. The more you practice the more you know: self compassion gives you what you need to give to others. Small dips are incrementally and infinitely beneficial. One day you will realize this sourcing is just the undercurrent –wholly part of who you are and as natural as breathing.
